I knew from the first time I saw him that Lloyd was going to be an important part of my dating story. His picture on Match was very cute so I clicked on his profile. He was a scientist, played drums in a band and said he liked Mitch Hedburg, one of my very favorite comics of all time (r.i.p.). He sounded fantastic until I got to the part about him having two kids. Damnation!! My rules at the time were no kids, no republicans, no christians – no way. As cool as he sounded it was just a no go so I moved on and didn’t ‘wink’ or send him an email.
A quick note on the wink. Match has two options to let someone know that you are interested. You can send an email to their Match account or wink at them. The difference between the two is that the email requires a person to actually type something, put words into a sentence and actually give some indication that they read even two words of your profile. The wink, on the other hand, requires nothing more than clicking the ‘wink to show them you are interested!’ link. I have heard stories of guys that send winks to 50 women at a time and then just wait to see who is stupid enough to wink or write back. It quickly became my policy that all winks were deleted upon receipt. Can’t even find the energy to write two sentences to me in an email? Move on, my friend.
Another fun Match feature is that the site will tell you who has clicked on your profile. I have mixed feelings on this. It is fun to look at whose eye you have caught and I have sent emails to men who I could tell had ‘looked’ at me. On the flip side, I don’t like knowing that my every move can be watched. I want to browse the merchandise, if you will, without being seen doing it. It is possible to hide your profile so you can’t be seen while you look but, when you unhide it again so it is once again open to the public, the lovely site reveals everywhere you have been *even while you were hidden*. Smart. Good thing their specialty is dating and not internet security.
So, I got an email from Lloyd that he had seen me checking him out and he thought I looked pretty cool. I thought it best to be nice and email him back so I did and told him that I was sorry but I didn’t do the ‘single dad’ thing, in a nice way, of course. He wrote me back and thanked me for my honesty but he thought he deserved a second chance. He was indeed a dad but a cool one that wasn’t defined by being a parent. I admired his pluck and decided that a drink wouldn’t kill me so I agreed to meet him.
I arrived at the bar before Lloyd did and sat down at the bar. I saw him come in from the corner of my eye and thought, “Oooohhh… cute guy entering stage left!” Then I realized that was Lloyd. He was pretty much everything I find attractive all in one package. He was taller than me, had a shaved head (shaved short not shaved bald), glasses, was snappishly dressed and tan. He also had very nice arms and hands. He walked up to me, introduced himself and then gave me hug. Sooo… he also smelled fantastic. He suggested we get a table so I grabbed my drink and headed after him. I was getting very excited.
What followed was a most excellent conversation. There are people that are a chore to talk to, where making chit chat is work, and then there are those lucky times where you just want to talk and talk and it is easy and fun and delightful. I have had great talks with girls, too, so it isn’t even a chemistry thing but more of a common vibe situation. I felt instantly comfortable with Lloyd and we ate and drank and laughed. We talked about Match, his kids, my past dating, his past dating, food, music, his band, my job and on and on. I told him things that I didn’t usually drop until at least date number three. He was just easy and I didn’t feel like he was going to hold anything I said against me. The longer we sat there the more I started to get the crush buzz of attraction. I was already getting butterflies and wondering if he was going to ask to see me again. He seemed to be having as much fun as I was so I thought the chances were in my favor. It was a work night so, after a few hours, we walked to our cars. We got to his first which is where the first wrinkle presented itself.
I have to give it to Lloyd that he decided to tell me the truth right then. He could have just gotten in his car and waited for me to walk on or he could have escorted me to my car. He didn’t, though, and got in his driver’s seat and got out his ignition interlock device and blew. Holy shit. I had never seen a ‘blow and go’ in person. I happen to work for a defense attorney and a big part of our business comes from DUI’s so, in abstract, I knew that they existed. To see my very first one in person in the car of a guy I was very much digging took me a bit aback. I didn’t know what to think. Lloyd jumped out of the car and gave me a huge hug and explained that he had the stupid interlock for another year and it was a total pain in the ass. He had gotten the DUI the night his ex-wife had told him she had cheated on him and wanted a divorce. Wow. This was a lot to digest while saying goodbye. He was pretty frank about it and didn’t make any apologies. He said that he had absolutely loved meeting me and would love to get together again. I agreed, hugged him, and headed to my car.
As I drove home warning bells were going off in my head. Kids? A recent DUI? Divorce? Cheating? Danger, danger! I knew in my gut, however, that I liked him – a lot. Lloyd was a very, very attractive man to this girl. Part of me hoped that he wouldn’t call so I could play it safe but the louder part was checking my email as soon as I got in the door. He emailed me first thing in the morning saying he hadn’t met someone so awesome in years and he was thrilled. I felt excited and sick at the same time. For once I decided to think with the other side of my brain and throw logic to the wind. I was doing it! I was going on another date with the ‘bad choice’!
Next: Lloyd Part II