I like to consider myself a little edgy. I am a rocker at heart and have my fair share of ink. Given that affinity for ink, obviously I have more than a fleeting attraction to girls with a bit of ink themselves. I have a photographer friend who seemed to run across a lot of women who I found attractive, so one day I asked her, ‘Where would I go to meet women in this particular demographic?”
She told me that she had heard several say that they hang out on OKCupid, and pointed out that it was a free site, so I figured why not.
She was right, I had no trouble finding women I was attracted to and I contacted several of them. One in particular was quite enthusiastic in her reply to my mail and we started a fun text conversation that led to a nice walk the following weekend. This won’t be your traditional crazy first date story. The first date was actually quite cool. We met for coffee and then took a walk. She was very cute, seemed really nice, and we shared a pretty fun kiss before we parted ways. This story is about the second date.
A few days later she and I made plans to hang out at my place after work for a chill, movie-type evening. The first thing that struck me a bit odd was that she didn’t have a car. I figured it was Seattle after all, many people are more into bikes and public transportation, so I offered to pick her up in Seattle and bring her back to my place in Bellevue, and of course take her home later. The drive back to my place was pretty uneventful, chatting about our day, etc. She was already trying to consider plans for the next week, which I actually thought was kind of cool, until she said “Because I can’t really do anything this weekend, I have a guy coming in from out of town.”
Girls of course have guy friends, I get that, but I can’t say it didn’t give me pause for thought. I’m a good sport, though, so we went back to my place to hang out.
Now I will be clear that I am not that much into smokers. I am not inflexible, and someone who tells me “Well, I have a cigarette every once and a while when I drink,” won’t get crossed off the list based on that alone. But someone who needs to go on my deck and smoke a cigarette 5 minutes after getting to my house is a totally different animal. It could be just me, but I am pretty sure even if I was a regular smoker, that wouldn’t be the first impression that I would want to make.
I took care of a few things while she smoked a cigarette and talked to someone on her cell phone on my deck for what seemed like 15 minutes.
When she came in, she was nice enough to pop a mint before she moved past “What do you want to watch?” straight into, “This is what my tongue feels like, and by the way I’m going to feel up your crotch now.”
I wasn’t exactly upset at this turn of events. This girl wasn’t exactly unattractive and I wasn’t exactly not enjoying it. She was sexy and quite the good (although smoky) kisser. We fooled around on the couch a bit before stopping just short of the full Monte.
I made us some dinner and we ate while we watched a movie, chatting about randomness like our jobs, where we are from, etc. It was a pretty uneventful evening with some flirty randomness here and there. It was getting really late and she mentioned she was tired but having a great time and didn’t really want to leave. I figured that was an invitation for an invitation, we were having a nice night, and admittedly I wasn’t super excited about driving to Seattle and back that late, so I told her she was welcome to stay if she wanted, I could drive her home in the morning. She accepted, I loaned her a shirt to sleep in, and the night folded pretty serenely into sleep.
It all sounds pretty great, right? Hot girl, just enough playfulness to have fun but not assume she’s doing this regularly, and it was nice. The next morning was much more interesting.
I got up and hopped in the shower to get ready for work, with the plan to take a quick shower, take my dog for a quick walk, and then take her home.
I won’t say I was opposed to her showing up naked in my shower. I will once again refer to my gender and the fact that we rarely take offense to beautiful women showing up naked anywhere we go, much less the shower.
A little heavy petting ensued and she delivered the most compelling case for safe sex in the most frank manner I think I’ve ever heard, “By the way, I have HPV, but that’s ok, pretty much everyone does these days.”
I am not super judgmental, but given the lack of anything resembling protection in the shower and the recency of the notification of her particular situation, the shower became all business pretty quickly. I got myself together and we stepped out to take my dog for a quick walk before I took her home.
When we got back from the walk, I realized that I had actually left my keys in my apartment. My apartment has a double door setup, so without your access key, you can’t get back in the building at all.
While I appreciate the enthusiasm, I literally had to request several times that she NOT scale the building to my 3rd story deck despite her clear interest in doing so. I’m not kidding. I had to turn down several offers before stating, “No, really, I don’t want you climbing the building, I’ll contact property management, it’s ok.”
I had no idea that I had spent the evening with Spider Woman. Maybe she’s just a Parkour enthusiast, I don’t really know, but I wasn’t too hip to her playing cat woman where I live. I picked up a key from the management and got us back in so I could take her home.
As if to place a perfect cap on this unusual date, several blocks from her home, she recounts how she often has to walk through this neighborhood at night after work. She
tells me about the aggressive homeless people she encounters and then says, “but I’m used to having to take care of myself, that’s why I carry a shiv!”
This is the point where she pulls the crude, hand made blade from her purse and shows me the prison style weapon she carries at all times. It was about 8” long, made from some sort of aluminum or something, and had tape wrapped around it for a handle.
Calmly I asked, “Why not carry a stun gun, mace or some other form of non-lethal protection?”
She explained, “If someone comes at me, they deserve what they get, it’s self defense.”
I tried to be diplomatic, “But couldn’t you carry something that doesn’t qualify as a concealed weapon and have the potential to land you in prison for manslaughter or worse?”
Her response was some combination of “I take care of myself, nobody will fuck with me, and I like to carry something that shows I mean business.”
Not needing to get into an argument with a woman carrying a shiv, I let it go and drove the remaining few blocks to her house and dropped her off.
I think the funniest part of this bizarre date is that I didn’t really make much effort to communicate with her for a week or two until I got a very nice message saying, “Hey, sorry I’ve been kind of distant, I guess I just wasn’t really feeling it and I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
Being blunt as I often can be, I said, “Do you always strip off your clothes and get so intimate and spend the night with people when you just aren’t ‘feeling it?’ lol”
She didn’t like that very much. The last message I got from her was, “I think you owe me an apology for implying that I am a whore.”
That’s it. I am sure a bit of this doesn’t paint me in the most positive light either, but I figured if I am going to share my story, I’d share it warts and all.
I would love to hear your dating story and perhaps (anonymously) feature it on ‘Dates With Kate’! You can email them to me at Kate@DatesWithKate.com.