Short Guys Need not Apply
I think back to the beginning of this online-dating journey, trawling the women’s profiles and getting quite frustrated. My frustration wasn’t for a lack of beautiful candidates. Nor was it for lack of resources to show them a good time. The problem came between finding the girl and going out with her. To be more specific, it was namely the women’s profile preference section where they outlined their “type” of guy—this is what ruffled my feathers. Most women dream of a knight in shining armor, Prince Charming, aka Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. And of all the varying characteristics these ideal model men may have, the one constant is their height.
Among the verbiage in many women’s profiles were phrases like, “Must be at least 6 feet tall” or “Don’t bother sending a message if you’re short.”
As you can probably guess, I’m a short guy. And as you may also gather, these requirements don’t go over too well with me.
I grew up hearing all the cruel short jokes from the neighborhood kids. I’m sure you’ve heard this all-time classic dig, “He’s so short he can sit on the curb and swing his legs without touching the ground.” Haha, very funny…yo momma!
As tough as it was back then, nothing quite measured up to the day my kid brother realized that he had shot past me in height. My dad is six feet, so clearly I got my height from my mother. Thanks, Mom!
I get that women want to feel protected and secure. And being with a tall man gives them that sense of safety. But if you’re 5’ 4”, must you be so discriminating that you only have eyes for men that are 6’ 2” and above? You’re going to get a crick in your neck staring up at him the whole time. That’s ten inches of wasted man! Tall girls must hate you for stealing all the guys their height.
The New York Times published an article by Stephanie Rosenbloom, titled “Love, Lies and What They Learned.” In it, Rosenbloom writes about information gathered by university professors studying people as they study each other’s online profiles. Overall, the article was very interesting, but what really got my attention was, “Men…lied by a greater magnitude than women about their height…”
Of course they do; otherwise, shorter guys wouldn’t have a chance! And this works out great online because a woman has to judge you by your profile and give you a shot if she likes what she sees up to that point. Hopefully, you can charm your way into her heart before you actually meet so that by the time you two are face to face, your height won’t matter. Or at least that’s the prayer.
I’m a hair under 5’ 7”, but do you think I pointed that out on my profiles? Of course not! I guess that places me in the group of height deceivers. But really, what’s a quarter inch?
To the guys who are adding multiple inches to their profile stats, I say, “Come on man! The truth is bound to come out if you ever plan to hook up with the woman in the real world.”
People go to great lengths to impress, and we have the propaganda-spreading media machine to thank for that—from boob jobs to $100,000 cars, from penile implants to Botox injections. Heck, I’ve even heard of guys going as far as getting their legs broken, stretched out, and reset for an extra inch or so to be added to their height. Talk about desperate! And all so “we” can fit into that Hollywood mold.
How about a little attitude adjustment instead? It’s cheaper and it can actually help you function better as a member of society.
Ultimately, I embraced my height—like I had a choice! I found that confidence and a healthy level of self-esteem is a great counterbalance to whatever shortcomings you may have. (Pun intended) In the end, I had been on so many dates, when the one did come along, I was truly comfortable in my own skin. And I like to think my date picked up on that. In fact, that must have been the case because years later, after I married her, she told me she thought I was too short for her but decided to make an exception and throw me a bone.
The funny part is, she’s 5’ 2”. What is it with you women?